How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows

Thinking about how to express your love for your soon-to-be forever person is scary, especially if you are sharing them in front of other loved ones. So whether your wedding ceremony is going to be a combination of your own vows and traditional vows, or completely personalized, take a deep breath before putting pen to paper and start at step one - be yourself! Sharing how you feel with your partner on the most memorable day of your life is about you and your partner and no one else. You don’t have to be funny, or try to make your new mom-in-law cry, you just have to be honest!

Pro Tip - If sharing personalized vows during the ceremony is way too intimidating, many couples take a less traditional approach by sharing these vows before or after the “public ceremony” in a more intimate setting. You could also consider having your wedding photographer capture it by using this as your “First Look” moment.

What Do You Love Most About Them?

Sometimes the best way to start writing personal vows is to make a list of some of the biggest reasons you fell in love with your partner. Define who they are to you, and what you see in them that makes them different from everyone else. 

A great way to express this is by wishing that they could see themselves the way you see them. For example, “I wish you could see how you brighten every room you’re in.”

Personalized Touches

You have shared thousands of minutes together, thousands of memories. Consider picking out a few moments in your relationship that stand out among the rest and use them as a “guide” to write your vows. You could also think of it as writing a short story of the life you’ve built together so far, foreshadowing your future together.

Make Your Promises

Your officiant will lead you through traditional vows that will hold many promises, if this is the route you take during your wedding ceremony. But there are hundreds of unique promises you may start to realize you make to your partner without even knowing it. For example, promising to save the last bite of dessert, or promising to hold their hand during a scary movie, or maybe it's even as important as promising to always answer a cry for help. Expressing these little promises (or big promises) aloud during your vows is a perfect way to show just how much your partner means to you.

Break the Ice

If it’s like you to make a joke during a serious moment, don’t fight the urge to use that in your vows! Adding a laugh or two can help release any nerves or tension that’s been building up on your big day. It also makes your special moment that much more memorable.

Set Your Goals

Every relationship is unique, and they all come with their own set of goals. And while you have been a team before your wedding day, your official partnership is like having a new starting point to grow from. Express some goals you want to achieve with your forever partner. They can be as big as promising to continue to work on your communication with one another, or as “small” as remembering to do a chore everyday.

Set Your Own Timeline

Some people thrive under pressure, while others need ample time to prepare for a big speech. Set a timeline to write and practice your vows that works for you. This can mean starting the week you get engaged, or a couple days before the wedding. There are no wrong ways to write vows, as long as you express yourself openly and honestly.

It’s All About You

We’ll say it again: personalized vows are about you and your partner, no one else. The most important thing to remember when writing your vows is to express your genuine love, genuinely. That will look different for everyone. Try not to get bogged down in the details of length or grammar or who will be listening (besides your partner, of course). Don’t know how to end vows? Just remember to say “I Love You”.